1-16-12

Picked up my guitar today and visited with Baba and Papa.  I also cleaned out my car, out of control!  Should have taken a picture of that!  My sweet baby.  Posted this photo on Instagram today.  I can't believe he's almost two.  The question remains and crosses my mind every day.  Do we have #4 or not?  Some days I say yes, and some days I say 'Heck no!'  It's those moments when all three boys are behaving and everyone's getting along, and the house is beautifully clean.  Those are the moments when I think, 'Yes, it could be possible.'  But then the uncontrollable days come.  The days when the work is piled up and all three boys are screaming, when the fighting starts first thing in the morning and doesn't end until bedtime.  These days, I don't think I can take much more.  It's a 50/50 deal.  I have heard many things about going from 3 to 4.  Mostly what I hear is that it's not much different.  I've even heard from one person that it gets easier.  I don't know about that one.  Bottom line: I want another baby.  I want to have a newborn in the house, one more time, I want to have another one attached to me at all times, depending on me for every little thing.  But should we have another baby?  Is it the right time?  Will it ever be the right time?  Will I be able to do it all, with 4?  That's a completely different issue.